Speak Like a Dog

One of the things that amazes me most about my dog, Rocky, is the clarity of his communication despite being nonverbal.  Equally, one of the things that fascinates me most about humans is our struggle to communicate clearly despite being verbal.  Logic suggests that the ability to speak words would increase the likelihood of conveying wants, needs, and feelings at least as effectively as a dog, but I’ve found the opposite to be true; the words we speak often miss the mark on what we mean. Take these examples:

What’s said What’s meant
“You’re such a jerk” “What you did hurt my feelings”
“You don’t care about me” “I feel lonely”
“Nothing happens if I don’t do it” “I need more support”
“I’m going to explode” “I’m hungry”
“I’m too busy to listen” “The truth scares me”

As humans, we tend to cover up our vulnerability with defensiveness, control, anger, and the like.  Dogs, on the other hand, shoot straight.  There’s no confusion or nuance.  When Rocky wants to play, he brings me his frisbee and motions toward the door.  When he wants to cuddle, he throws his weight on me and drops his head in my lap.  He doesn’t get everything he needs and wants the minute he expresses himself, but he knows he is safe, loved, and will never go without.  Humans aren’t always as certain of the latter so we tend to circle the bush on saying what we need rather than asking for it outright.  It’s a popular strategy, but highly ineffective.  As long as it remains true that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, it will also be true that a *zig zagging approach to communication will lead you (and the recipient) astray.  Speak with intention, couch it in kindness, and wag your tail for a job well done.

*Passive, manipulative, passive aggressive, critical, blaming, or shaming