Rise Up

Two weeks ago my dad slipped on black ice and broke his leg. Less than 24 hours before that my mom was in a car accident; she was hit from behind by someone going too fast when everyone else was slowing down. Her bruises are healing and, in time, her nervous system will settle down and she won’t feel quite as afraid to drive and venture out again. My dad is undergoing physical therapy with dogged determination to get back on his feet (literally) sooner than later. Thankfully, they are both going to be okay.Now that we’re through the immediate crisis phase of their respective situations, I’m thinking about the different responses all of us have to stress, adversity, and misfortune. Perhaps the fact that the Olympics have been going on in the backdrop of my parents’ drama makes my thoughts on this subject that much more pertinent…and ironic. Refusing to take the time and care to properly heal would be about as effective a plan for wellness as an Olympic athlete wallowing in defeat would be for a gold medal. You have to do the work. Period. So often, though, the prospect of work - hard, inconvenient, and sometimes tedious work - serves as a deterrent more than it does a source of inspiration or motivation. Why is that? What keeps us from pushing harder for what we want rather than settling for what we don’t?There’s a ticker tape of responses streaming through my mind that I’ve heard clients say over the years: “I tried to do it differently, but it still didn’t work”; “I’m afraid I'll fail”; “It’s not going to make any difference no matter what I do”; “Nothing ever works out for me”; “I don’t like change”; and, “I might be miserable, but at least I know what to expect…this way, I won’t be disappointed”. Iterations of these same sentiments are too many to count. No matter how many different ways the words are strung together, though, it’s all fear-based thinking perpetuated by time and repetition - the same two things that can also work to promote hope and resilience. Working against the grain of our own potential takes a toll on every aspect of our lives and, yet, it continues to take the podium as the leader in self-annihilation tactics. Sure, there are no guarantees that you’ll achieve every goal you set out for, but there is absolutely a guarantee that you won’t if you never try.What happened to my parents is a terribly unfortunate reminder that none of us are immune from bad luck. It is a part of life and bad things do happen to good people. I suppose my dad could make the choice not to walk outside in the winter ever again and my mom could ride a bike everywhere she goes. Point is, all of us can eliminate or limit our exposure to as much or as little as we want. There isn’t a Universal prescription for determining what constitutes a healthy and satisfying quality of life, but, generally speaking, if you’re living in fear and carrying a “what if this uncomfortable thing happens?” state of mind, you’re already bumping up against unhappiness, if not swimming in it. Be careful with your thoughts and exercise the ones that echo possibility. They are the starting place of every champion.