Finding Your True North

“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open for you where you wouldn’t think there could be doors…” (Joseph Campbell)This quote was given to me at a transition point in my career seven years ago. At the time, I remember feeling drawn to the words, but not quite sure of their meaning. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience of resonating with something, but at the same time, not knowing what to do with it. This is not an uncommon experience to have in therapy. Often, when clients talk to me about uncomfortable feelings they’re having regarding a situation or relationship in their life, they want nothing more than to find a solution to make the discomfort go away. In that state of vulnerability, the last thing they want to hear me say is “rather than try to force an answer, let’s just be curious about what you’re feeling”. Yet, that is what I say. The reason for it is not to pour salt in the wound of their dis-ease, but to encourage a new approach to old behavior (i.e. avoidance and instant gratification). Repeating old patterns only guarantees one thing: staying stuck. Taking the risk to sit with discomfort and find stillness in a storm requires strength that many people don’t know they have until they have a safe and secure place to discover it. This is where I think back on the words that were given to me seven years ago and I can remember my own mistrust and uncertainty about believing “…doors will open for you where you wouldn’t think there could be doors”. It seemed too dreamy and poetic a notion to be real. Like my clients, I stirred restlessly in that space of knowing I was too uncomfortable to continue doing what I was doing, but not feeling sure I could bring myself to do anything different. I look back and wonder what it was that carried me beyond my fear of the unknown and assured me that no matter what might come, I would land on my two feet.  For me, it was hope and a lot of grit.  I think of that combination as the place where poetry and sheer refusal to settle meet.  I believe there is a poet and a warrior in all of us.  Maybe you recognize one of them inside yourself more than the other.  Don't be afraid to explore the one you don't know as well - when you're going through change, one without the other is the equivalent of dancing with two left feet; you might be moving, but you're not going anywhere.