Take 5

Here we are right smack dab in the middle of summer and I have vacation on my mind. Seems fitting, right? Summertime, at least in the most idyllic sense, means sunshine, bbq, watermelon, beach, and relaxed, long, lazy days designed for nothing else but rest and recharge. Taking a vacation is the ultimate celebration of the season; doing what we want to do on no one else’s timeline other than our own. Vacation comes from the Latin root, vacare, which means “be empty, free, or at leisure”. Seems simple enough. Why, then, is taking a permissible, socially acceptable, and in some cases work mandated break hard for many of us?From my experience, the hesitance, if not resistance, to vacating physically and mentally falls somewhere on the spectrum between mild to moderate discomfort/anxiety to a paralyzing fear about being disconnected from structure, routine, being available to meet other people’s needs, and, in general, the busyness of everyday life that too often serves as a panacea to feelings like grief, resentment, anger, and boredom. If I just keep going and doing, I won’t have time or energy to think about how unhappy I am or how much pain I’m in or how powerless I feel. Add to the problem of being perpetually busy our collective obsession with staying “connected” through technology and - wham - the difference between a human doing and a human being is nearly indistinct. We’ve fallen prey to the convenience, accessibility, and distraction of devices to the point where compulsive connection is mistaken for true connection. Whether at home, work, or hanging out in Fiji, our preoccupation with texting, emailing, posting, scrolling, candy crushing, selfie-taking, status checking, and incessant pinging tends to come with us. Herein lies the difference between a vacation (“state of being unoccupied”) and a trip (“an act of going to a place and returning”). On a trip, we bring our doing self with us and on a vacation we leave him/her at home. When is the last time you took a vacation and actually went on vacation?The Norman Rockwell version of vacationing suggests we should all be sittin' on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll by while licking melting ice-cream in the warm sunlight with children frolicking all around and birds singing and an apple pie baking in the oven. If Mr. Rockwell were alive to paint today, perhaps his images of vacationing would reflect a more contemporary spin: people, young and old, gathered together somewhere - whether at home around a dinner table or sitting poolside in the tropics - without cell phones, ipads, to-do lists, and calendars anywhere in the vicinity. Instead, there would be eye contact, laughter, and discussion - the stuff of real connection. Point being, vacation should serve as a magnifying glass over the people and experiences that are meaningful to you. You’ll probably never hear your kid say, “my favorite part of the day was when you were checking your emails while pretending to be interested in what I was saying”, or your spouse say, “I really enjoyed it when you were preparing your presentation during dinner last night”, or your friend say, “Gosh, it was great to see you. Thanks for listening so well in between reading and sending texts”. I hope, though, by practicing less distraction and more intention, you’ll be able to not only hear, but actually listen when someone you love says, “I’m so happy being here with you”. That’s a vacation…and you can go there anytime.