New Year, New You?

I don’t subscribe to much pomp and circumstance when it comes to New Year’s traditions.  I fall asleep well before the ball drops, I don’t love the taste of black-eyed peas, and price fixe menus make me angry, to name a few.  I do, however, welcome the idea of a fresh start.  There’s goodness in the thought of leaving something(s) behind and bringing something(s) forward.  Admittedly, sometimes that’s as far as I get: the thought.

Several years ago, I participated in a weekend long immersive therapy experience with other clinicians.  In exchange for having us as their guests, the host organization hoped we would refer clients whose needs exceeded what outpatient therapy can provide.  One of the activities they had us do was an equine therapy session.  Somehow, I ended up being the “patient” in this role play.  The instructor, Bonnie, helped me mount the horse and then walked about 20 yards away.  She hollered for me to come to her.  I got myself in what I thought was the right position, urged my horse forward, and found myself getting everywhere except closer to Bonnie.  I remember feeling so frustrated, probably a little embarrassed, and confused.  In my mind, I was doing everything I was told, and I was doing it correctly so something must be wrong with the horse.  Not the case.  Bonnie told me that my eyes were on her, yes, but I was holding the reins, kicking the horse, and tilting left in my posture which, all combined, was directing the horse to go in circles.  He was doing exactly what I asked him to do, and I was too much in my head to see it was me who needed the adjustment. 

This memory continues to serve as a fine (and humbling) example of why focusing more on process over outcome has its benefits.  How many times have you set out to make changes in your life but, despite yourself, ended up circling around the ring getting nowhere further than where you started?  Exhausting, I know.  Drawing from my aforementioned failed attempt at meeting my target, here’s the playbook on how to do better:

1.        Know where you’re going and why.
2.        Keep your eyes looking forward.
3.        Sit upright.
4.        Move with intention. 
5.        Lead with your head and your heart.

No better time of year than the start of a new one to give goal attainment another go.  Giddy up!