Gift to Self

The magic of fantasies is alive and well this time of year: Frosty the Snowman, sugar plum fairies, a red nosed reindeer, and, of course…the big man with a belly full of jelly flying around the world on a sleigh. So often I’m talking with clients about the dangers of living in a fantasy world – a world where imperfection doesn’t exist and vulnerability takes a backseat to blaming, shaming, and criticizing. What a gift it is to be invited into a season of imagination where the suspension of reality actually enhances our experience rather than denies it. At the same time, what makes this time of year different than any other time we have the opportunity to believe in something that we cannot see? Why is it easier to lie out the welcome mat for Santa than it is to do what we need to do to feel better, happier, and healthier?The answer is simple: real life is harder than a fantasy. We gravitate towards things like overspending, working, drinking, eating, and thinking because – in our fantasy world - they are easier than dealing with the discomfort of disappointing someone, losing something/someone you love, or having the humility to say you were wrong. If we spent less time resisting the fact that we are imperfect beings and more time accepting responsibility for what we can change versus resenting what we can’t, I imagine there’d be more magic in all of our lives. The problem is not that life is hard; it’s what we do with the hand we’ve been dealt that determines how deeply we sink or how strong we swim. Our heroes and heroines teach us that “happily ever after” comes from hard work and an honest pursuit of whatever it is that makes something worth fighting for: love, friendship, family, justice, freedom, and so on. In fantasies there’s fairy dust and in real life there’s resilience. It’s all the same thing. At the end of the day, each of us just has to be brave enough to believe in our own happy ending.