February Knows Best

Dear February,

You talk a lot about love.  You have so much to say about it that you can’t even wait until January is officially in the rearview before you send your cherubs in to paint the town red and pink.  I wonder, have you ever stopped to think about how it feels to be one of the people who wishes you'd stay away?  You don’t ask for their permission to show up…you just do.  It’s as if you believe your presence is the best thing for everyone, even if many would disagree.  Why would they disagree, you ask?  Here are a few reasons:

*Your enthusiasm feels like nails on a chalkboard to those who have been burned by love, lost a love, and/or have never felt loved.

*You make love seem so simple – cute even – and that doesn’t feel real.

*Despite your best intentions to wrap all of us up in warm fuzzy feelings, your romanticism often makes people feel lonelier.

You wear your heart on your sleeve every year, but for a lot of people, it’s too scary to keep putting themselves out there. Eventually, after enough heartache, they tuck their hearts away.  When that happens, sometimes they stop loving themselves too.  That is not the stuff of a great love story.  

Some people would prefer that you never came around again.  Given that you are a standing member of the 12-month calendar, however, maybe we can strike a compromise.  For example, what if you left your rose-colored glasses at home and kept your heart shaped wishes for everyone to yourself? 

Truth is, I know what you’d say.  You’d tell me that even in the face of people’s naysaying and rejections, you love what you stand for.  You’d say that your resolve to show up every year carries a deeper message than the sugary sweet fantasies canvasing store aisles.  You’d want us to know that love, of course, can be beautiful and fun, but it’s also complicated and challenging and the more resilient we are to its inevitable pains, the more open we become to its equally inevitable celebrations.  You’d want us to know that even when we feel like love has passed us by, its presence is never too far away and only a matter of time before it shows up again.

I hear you, February.  Hopefully lots of other folks out there will too.