This Way or That

I don’t often pay much attention to Netflix’s “recommended for you” movies, but the other day I was browsing through and came across “Sliding Doors”.  Netflix didn’t know I’d seen it when it came out in 1998, but its intuition that I’d like it was right on target.  Without giving too much away, the plot goes back and forth between two storylines.  In one story, the main character catches her morning commute train and in the second story she misses it.  Predictably, the outcome of each scenario impacts the trajectory of her life in different ways.  When I think back on where I was in my own life 14 years ago versus where I am today…nearly everything is different than what I’d envisioned at the time.  Suffice to say, there have been a lot of sliding door moments.  I don’t think there’s a person out there who can’t relate.

Everyday I listen as clients discuss major life decisions, waffle between smaller scale choices, and lament or celebrate past choices that led them to where they are today:

Should I…
“ask for a raise”
“leave my marriage”
“quit drinking”
“freeze my eggs”
“start online dating”
”try meditating”
“have an adventure before I settle down”
”get a dog”

Why did I…
“let fear get in my way”
“stay when I knew I needed to go”
“say ‘yes’ when I meant ‘no’”
“let myself get so out of control”
“laugh when I wanted to cry”
“fail to follow through”
“get defensive”
“let myself be spoken to that way”

I’m so glad I…
“decided to change careers”
“said ‘no’”
“trusted my gut”
“asked for help”
“took a walk”
“went on the date”
“apologized”
“advocated for myself”

The feelings behind “Should I” and “Why did I” statements generally stem from fear, uncertainty, and shame while the energy underlying “I’m so glad I” statements is rooted in self-love, courage, and humility. Each and every sliding door moment we face is an invitation to walk back into regret or step forward into potentiation.  There is no perfect life.  No perfect relationship.  No perfect choice.  But, there are very definitely paths that go in circles and paths that lead us somewhere new.  So here’s a sliding doors question for you: where are you today and which path would you like to be on tomorrow?